It only gets deeper. That is my prevailing thought as I travel back to the UK for a few days. What do I mean? Like the hero in a film who realises that to win the day he must give his life, so I’m realising more and more that to win my day, I’m going to have to do the same. Leonardo DiCaprio in the Film Blood Diamond plays a selfish Diamond trader. At the end of the film he can save himself or he can save a villager who can testify to change the World of Diamond trading. Huddled on a hillside he rings his girlfriend on a Sat Phone and the inference that he is not coming home is obvious.
To be honest it is not a comfortable thought. People think the hard tasks of living in Africa are all to do with creepy crawlies, Mosquitos and difficult policeman. It’s none of those things, they are really trivial and don’t matter at all. For me the biggest issue is increasingly that my life is not my own. You see the secret is to not try to live the life that you want. The secret is to live the life God wants of you. Africa at this time is full of opportunity, but it takes some guts and pioneering Spirit to take hold of it.
True freedom is in Christ and yet so often I’m found to be a prisoner holding desperately to my own prison cell, preferring to stay locked in rather than walk in the freedom I’ve found. So often I worry about the things that everyone worries about. Money…power, family, all of those concerns assault me regularly. Do I really trust God? Do I really walk with Him?
I’m considering the next few years of my life. What will they look like? What do I need to do to achieve what God is asking me to do? How do I focus solely on that and nothing else? It is not as easy as it sounds. There are two sides to me at the moment, one side that is excited and one part that is feeling the pain, wanting it’s own way, it’s own path. Its a civil war within myself.
“Sacrifice creates life”. Think about it, you give money to a good cause, it is used to make a change elsewhere. Your time doesn’t all need to be used creating a life for yourself that is comfortable and care free, you can use that time to create Gods change somewhere. God gave us in some measure the power to create and we use it in proportion to the amount we are willing to give of ourselves. We can keep His life to ourselves or as we give ourselves away, He creates life wherever we go.
There is much darkness in this world and that is why the darkness tries to cojole, distract, console and intimidate us into in-action. That is why that civil war is raging within me. I can see the future, I can see the direction and whilst exciting I know it will hurt. Many people say to me often, “well I’m called to my life Jon”, as if somehow God excuses our inaction by circumstance. Yes it is true that we are in a set of circumstances, but it is not true that within that we live for ourselves within them. Anyone can bring Gods great truth and love into any situation if they will only be bold enough.
At this very moment a cosmic war is raging, darkness and evil do not cease to stride into peoples lives just because we cannot or will not see what is happening. All around us there are hurting, suffering people, lost people, confused people. The question is not to think whether we should be involved? In the midst of war one does not ask if we should fight. You fight, sacrifice, give yourself so that your countrymen will be free.
There is no option. Your sacrifice repels the enemy and makes people free.
That is why in our everyday lives, all of us in the normality of chores and housework, childcare and work, we hear a whisper of the Spirit, of hidden truths, seeking us to take up the fight. This message we have, this truth we know, this burden in our hearts that only we know, is world changing, life changing, liberty giving truth and we need to show it in every way, anyway we can.
We must fight the civil war in our own lives, settle it and dedicate ourselves to making Gods future happen. If you catch me off guard I dream about influencing as many in rural Africa as is humanly possible and then some. That is what zgod has asked me to do and I’m trying to do it.
What will you do? Where will you go? What will your sacrifice create? God is waiting my friend, for both me and for you.
God has won, the light is upon us but even now the war rages…….