I’m sat here in Kitale airstrip, basically a ribbon of tarmac with a small building next to it. No airs and graces here, although Sarah did vie for the leather chair, and won it…. We arrived here early and we are waiting for the plane to Nairobi that will take us back to get our plane tomorrow morning. As I had nothing to do I thought I would update my blog and tell you about the heart surgery that the Lord has been performing this week.
People who are visionary or leader’s don’t always see the way forward. In fact the way forward can seem quite intimidating, terrifying and out of reach. I must admit to having felt this way for a lot of this week. What do I mean? I asked the Lord to speak to me this week whilst I was away at a conference in Kenya. Rather than speak to me about what needs to be done, he spoke to me, about me.
We get so caught up in what needs to be done that we seldom realise that often the way forward is for the Lord to address our character. I feel like I have been under the microscope in so many ways this week. Thinking about how I react in various situations and why I react in that way. I’ve had time to stop and to attempt to at least address some of those things. In fact the things the Lord wanted to address are exactly because they do cause me to be intimidated, fearful and doubting my own ability.
Growth is stretching and sometimes painful. I’ve had a great time mostly this week, but it has been punctuated by some emotionally and spiritually stretching times. I don’t make a habit of pouring my soul out to 50 year old dutch women, but there I was, almost unable, to control the volley of stuff from years gone by that I was talking about. In a strange way it felt cleansing, very cleansing. As I walk on this journey that the Lord has for me, I keep picking up knocks and bangs, almost always at my most vulnerable points. The Lord is concerned about that for all of us. He wants to give us opportunities to be healed – so take them!
The way forward is not always to plough forward in activity, it is to search one’s soul with God and sure up your heart and courage before moving forward. As I sit here in Kenya, that at the moment is the way forward, no doubt because in times to come, there will not be the opportunity.
If you have a leader, if you even know me, be very aware that sometimes their courage and vision falter, my courage and vision falter. Sometimes they need encouragement, sometimes they need God and someone just to tell them that they are appreciated. Find a leader and tell them that, you will make their day. Maybe you will help them forward on their journey that they have.